


Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city

by Chimney_on_the_roof



Series: His Silver Lining [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Fluff, M/M, Music, Pre-Slash, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25294783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chimney_on_the_roof/pseuds/Chimney_on_the_roof
Summary: If Alex hadn’t been feeling so bored and empty, he’d have laughed at the coincidence. John stopped and looked at the pencil that was now at his feet. Alex stared at it too, with no intention of getting up to get it. He saw John hesitate and imagined what he was thinking: should he give the pencil back or ignore it?A.k.a. Alex is really bored and his housemate he barely knows tries to cheer him up :)
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: His Silver Lining [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872574
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city

**Author's Note:**

> oops it's 3 AM  
> There's some music in here, so I'll put the playlist at the end!
> 
> Enjoy :)

Alex switched his phone off, threw it onto the pillow next to him, and hugged his legs close to his chest. He stared at the blank wall opposite him, trying to clear his thoughts. The wall looked yellow because of the yellow lamp in the centre of his room’s ceiling. He wanted to stop thinking completely, but he knew that was impossible. He pondered that thought for a moment. Why do we never stop thinking?

He looked up at the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars. This room had been occupied by someone else before Alex landed this room. Alex knew nothing about the person who had lived here before him, but he liked to imagine they were an older sibling who passed their room on to Alex when they moved out. In reality, Alex was renting this room from a man who was barely at home during the day. He was a taxi driver and made long days. On Saturday mornings Alex sometimes found the man, he couldn’t even remember his name, asleep on the couch. His job didn’t pay him what he wanted to be making, he told Alex one day, so he rented two rooms out, which left him with the couch to sleep on.

Alex was lucky, because he didn’t have to pay for electricity and water. It sounded too good to be true. He hadn’t been the only one willing to rent the room, so receiving the email that he got the room made Alex believe in a future again.

The other room was occupied by a student of the same college Alex went to. He barely saw him, because the other tended to lock himself into his room. The only thing Alex knew about him was that his name was John. They barely talked.

Alex’s phone chimed, and without having to look at the notification, he knew he had to take his binder off. He sighed, not wanting to move. Coming to the conclusion that in the long-term he'd be grateful, he reluctantly repositioned himself so he was sitting cross-legged on his bed. He took his T-shirt and binder off, put a sports bra on and his T-shirt again. For now, he threw his binder next to him on the bed.

He leaned back against the wall and grabbed his phone. He swiped the Snapchat notifications away, his eyes lingering on the notification for an email. He swiped it away too, deciding he’d read it later. When he wasn’t feeling as empty as he was now.

Someone walked past his room. The door was slightly opened and Alex saw it was John, which didn’t surprise him. In the glimpse he caught of him, he saw that his hair wasn’t in his usual ponytail. His curls looked uncombed and were all over the place. The door to the bathroom opened and closed, and a moment later Alex heard the shower.

Alex was fine sharing an apartment with a stranger, but a part of him wanted to get to know John. He'd heard great housemate-stories from numerous friends; he wished he had a friendship with John like Lafayette and Hercules had. He feared John wasn’t the kind of person to have weird nightly adventures with, or impulsive baking sessions. Or maybe it was his fault that they were barely talking. He had to admit that he was quite withdrawn himself.

His phone’s screen went black in his hands. Alex threw it onto his pillow again and he pulled his legs closer to himself, wrapping his arms around them. He was bored.

Usually he either went to sleep when he was bored, or he worked on some assignment. It was only nine o’clock however, and there weren’t any assignments to do. He was already far ahead.

Alex grabbed a pencil from his bedside table and began throwing and catching it in the air with his left hand. After a few minutes he heard the shower turn off, and soon after the door opened. Alex wasn’t paying much attention and for about the fourth time he dropped the pencil. It clattered on the floor and rolled towards the door, just when John walked by. If Alex hadn’t been feeling so bored and empty, he’d have laughed at the coincidence. John stopped and looked at the pencil that was now at his feet. Alex stared at it too, with no intention of getting up to get it. He saw John hesitate and imagined what he was thinking: should he give the pencil back or ignore it?

“Dude, are you alright?” John asked him instead. Alex looked up in surprise. John was barefoot, wearing a dark grey oversized T-shirt with long sleeves and pyjama pants. His hair was less curly than usual due to the wetness of it. He looked worried.

Alex took a moment to think about the question. _Was_ he alright? He didn’t know. He was tempted to say that, yes, of course he was fine, but something in John’s posture made him reconsider that response. He looked genuinely worried, and like he had the time to actually listen to him. But Alex found it hard to just straight out tell someone that maybe he wasn’t doing that great.

So instead of using words to describe how he was feeling, he sighed and looked back at the ground. Imagining the difficult situation he put John in, he said, “I don’t know.” He hated how high his voice sounded.

“Uh…” John said. Alex looked at him, and saw John’s expression change when he looked him in the eye.

“Can I come in?” John asked carefully.

“Sure,” Alex answered. John picked the pencil up and handed it to Alex, who made place on the bed for him. John sat down next to him and his eyes scanned through the messy room, undoubtedly noticing the numerous piles of books on his desk and the floor.

“You like reading?” John asked. Alex nodded and gave him a sideward glance, “You?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence and Alex noticed he had started playing with the pencil again.

“So uh,” John broke the silence, “You wanna talk about it?”

Alex knew he wasn’t talking about books. “Not really,” he said. “I mean, sometimes I just feel like this out of nowhere, so there’s not much to talk about. But if you want to talk, or ask questions, or I don’t know… Then sure, go ahead.”

John repositioned himself slightly and Alex felt his eyes on him. “What do you want?” John asked slowly.

Alex frowned and looked at the guy next to him. “What do you mean?”

John broke their eye contact and looked at the wall Alex had been staring at. “Right now,” he said with a positiveness that seemed out of place, “What it is that you want the most?” He looked back at Alex with an expectant smile.

Alex stared at him and stretched his legs out in front of him. In general, he wanted to be happy. But right now? He wanted to be free; to be able to move; to be able to do the things he enjoyed.

“I want to do the things I like without having the fear of being judged,” he said after a moment of silence.

“What do you like to do?”

Alex gave it some thought. He liked reading and writing, but he wasn’t in the mood for either. “I want to _actively_ do something,” he said, “Anything to get myself moving.”

A smile appeared on John’s face and he jumped off the bed. “Then I know something! Come,” he said, not waiting for an answer. Alex put the pencil on his nightstand and followed John to his room without a second thought. He realised how strange it was that he had never really talked to him before despite living in the very same house.

John’s room was a mess too, but it looked like an organised mess to Alex. In one corner were piles of books, on the chair in front of the desk was a small pile of clothes, the desk was filled with papers and art supplies, there were several plants in the windowsill and on top of the closet, in another corner of the room were a music stand and a guitar. It looked like a cosy mess. Alex stood in the door while John was kneeled in front of a drawer of his desk. He put some of its contents on the desk – Alex saw several notebooks, keychains, hair ties, plastic folders with a bunch of papers and more. When Alex thought the drawer must be empty by now, John stood and showed him what he’d been looking for with a triumphant smile.

“A radio?”

“And,” John put the radio on his desk and started shoving the other stuff back in the drawer, “A CD player!” he said as he held up a small box. He closed the drawer with his hip and opened the box. Alex saw the reflecting colours of the CDs inside the box. He curiously stepped further into John’s room.

John put one of the discs in the radio-slash-CD player. He pressed a button and Alex heard the whirring of the disc spinning at a high speed. “Oh, wait,” John said, and he reached behind his closet. There was a ‘click’ and the soft yellow light of small lightbulbs on a rope Alex hadn’t noticed yet illuminated the room. Alex closed the door and switched the main lamp off and suddenly the room got an even cosier atmosphere. John grinned at him and pressed another – or perhaps the same – button on the CD player.

Cheerful piano music began to play and Alex squinted his eyes, wondering if he knew the song. Then – _When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go-_ “Downtown,” John sang along, smiling at Alex who suddenly recognised the song.

 _When you’ve got worries, all the noise and the hurry seems to help, I know-_ “Downtown,” they both sang.

 _“Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city…”_ Alex gaped at John who sang along flawlessly. _“Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty…”_ He was hyperaware of how stiff he stood there, smiling awkwardly at John who moved and sang along to the music. _“How can you lose?”_ John stretched a hand out to Alex with a challenging look in his eyes.

Alex’s eyes widened. “I can’t dance,” he said. John took his hands in his and said, “I don’t care, I won’t judge,” with a wink. “I can’t dance either.” John sang along to the rest of the lyrics and Alex only the ‘downtown’ parts, partly because he didn’t know all the lyrics and partly because he was uncertain about his voice. A couple of years ago, before he knew he was transgender, a foster sibling had complimented his singing voice, but now it just felt wrong – his voice was too high.

He’d never been one for dancing. He straight out sucked at dancing. He tried to imitate John’s moves, but stuck with just kind of moving along to the rhythm. John also made him feel comfortable. Usually when he went to parties, his friends would try to get him to dance and when he tried, they cheered him on, but he didn’t want that attention. Alone with John in his room was a far safer place to suck at dancing than a dancefloor with unknown people. Besides, John claimed he was a bad dancer too.

 _“And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you…”_ John looked at Alex intently with a smile on his lips.

 _“Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to-”_ Alex didn’t know when they got so close to each other; they were almost chest to chest, which freaked him out a bit because he wasn’t wearing his binder.

 _“Guide them along…”_ Alex joined in, earning a bigger smile from John. As the music progressed their dancing got less rigid and Alex actually had fun. By the end of the song he had tears in his eyes from laughing and so had John, judging by the fact that he wiped his eyes with one sleeve, still holding Alex’s hand.

The music faded away and a new song started, which Alex immediately recognised. His eyes widened and he couldn’t help a grin. On the first beat, which he knew would immediately be followed by the lyrics, he pulled his hands from John’s grip, who was watching him with an amused expression.

 _Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long_ , Alex mouthed with wild, dramatic gestures. John joined in on the dramatic gestures and pretended to conduct an orchestra. During the swipes Alex put one hand on his chest and slowly raised the other with a stretched arm for the dramatics of it, which made John laugh. They mouthed the lyrics to each other and danced badly but energetically. By the end of the song they were both out of breath, but smiling broadly at each other.

There was a silence for a few seconds until another song they both knew started; Dancing Queen. John grabbed Alex’s hands again and they both danced however they wanted, laughing at each other’s spontaneously invented dance moves. This song reminded Alex of something in high school. He was a new member of the school paper and one issue had been published since he was a member, which he had written a poem for. The team had decided on a theme for the next issue, the sixties and seventies, and Alex had written a piece of fiction with tons of references to different ABBA songs, but especially to Dancing Queen. However, the issue never got published because there were some troubles with the publisher, which Alex was still salty about.

Alex didn’t know the next song, but John did, so he danced along with him. He recognised the song that came after, Brown Eyed Girl, but didn’t know the words, except the ‘shalalala’-part. The next song he did know and enthusiastically mouthed the lyrics, with gestures and all, and so did John, who had given up on singing. Alex appreciated that.

He gasped when he recognised the next song and laughed. “I haven’t heard this song in _forever_ ,” he said breathlessly. John chuckled and mouthed at Alex, _These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do…_ Alex could barely catch his breath. He didn’t know why, but ever since he heard it for the first time he was horrified by how strange this song was, and at the same time he couldn’t stop laughing at the absurdity. He let himself fall on the bed and covered his face. John dropped to his knees beside the bed and sang to him, _“One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you…”_

“Stooop,” Alex whined weakly, pushing John away, who chuckled. Alex sat up and wiped the tears from laughing away and he looked at John, seated on the floor with a wide grin. Apparently John liked to see Alex suffer, because he sang the rest of the lyrics to him as well, and Alex couldn’t protest because he was practically dying from laughter. The faces John made weren’t exactly helping either.

 _“These boots are gonna walk all over you,”_ John sang again. “Is that a promise or a threat?” Alex asked. John laughed in surprise. “I’ll leave that to your imagination,” he said with a mocking grin. Alex chuckled and looked away. He wasn’t blushing, was he?

The music faded away and John’s face lit up when he heard the chords of the next song. “This is my favourite band! The Turtles!”

When the singing began Alex recognised the song. Alex joined John on the floor and they played an overly in love couple, mouthing the lyrics to each other. _Imagine me and you, I do…_

Halfway through the song Alex yawned, and after a few seconds again. When the song ended and the next one began, John said, having noticed that he was yawning, “This is the last song on the CD.”

“Okay,” Alex answered. They sat next to each other with their backs leaning against the bed. John mouthed the words but Alex didn’t know the lyrics, so he let his eyes wander through the room. He fought the urge to close his eyes, and the urge to put his head on John’s shoulder. The last notes faded away and silence filled the bedroom.

John looked at Alex and Alex looked back. He wondered if he should say something, seeing as John didn’t look like he was going to. The moment was broken by his yawn. John smiled and Alex smiled back at him, before looking away. He was definitely blushing.

“I think I’m going to sleep,” Alex said.

“Yeah, me too,” John said, and Alex noticed that his voice sounded a tad higher than it had before. He got up and John followed suit. Before he opened the door, Alex turned back to John and timidly said, “Thanks for tonight.”

“Anytime,” John said with a small smile.

Alex opened the door but hesitated, wondering if giving John a hug was acceptable. He looked back and John still stood there in the middle of his room, illuminated by a string of yellow light bulbs. They took a step towards each other at the same time, and Alex thought _now or never_ and took the last step towards John, into his opened arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the playlist I promised you:
> 
> Downtown – Petula Clark  
> Wouldn’t It Be Nice – The Beach Boys  
> Dancing Queen – ABBA  
> Mr. Tambourine Man – The Byrds  
> Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison  
> California Dreamin’ – The Mamas And The Papas  
> These Boots Are Made For Walking – Nancy Sinatra  
> Happy Together – The Turtles  
> I’m A Believer – The Monkees
> 
> Downtown has been stuck in my head all day and it makes me really happy, so give it a listen if you don't know the song!
> 
> I'm thinking about making this a series... Would anyone read a sequel to this?  
> Please let me know what you think about that or this fic in general! <3


End file.
